(no subject)
Mar. 5th, 2013 08:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
valiant_kail[Filter: Private]
This isn't what I wanted out of this at all.
I didn't think I'd end up just making him more miserable. Is it for the better, if we're not ... ? Would it be better, if we'd never agreed to this? Things between us are so awkward now. I know he's unhappy, I know I ... made him unhappy, I know ...
How are we supposed to just be friends again, when all of this ... when I know all of this is my fault?
Celeste and -- Dragons, everyone, probably, if Elden is talking about it -- they think I don't know that I've ruined this, that I don't know this is my fault, that this was just ... just some experiment, no harm done to Kail, like I don't ...
What did I
I just, Dragons, the way he looks, it's not --
How am I supposed to even be anywhere near him, now? If I were him, Dragons, I'd never want to see me again ... But what is knowing that supposed to do? It doesn't make it easier for me to try and fix things. I don't even know how to fix things! How can I fix that, when things between us are ...
I don't want to lose him, Dragons, he's my best friend. He's always been that. All those years, when I didn't even notice, and now we're just supposed to ... put this behind us, I'm just supposed to -- what? What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to do it?
[a long pause here, a lot of light ink marks]
[Filter: Fayre]
Hi.
This isn't what I wanted out of this at all.
I didn't think I'd end up just making him more miserable. Is it for the better, if we're not ... ? Would it be better, if we'd never agreed to this? Things between us are so awkward now. I know he's unhappy, I know I ... made him unhappy, I know ...
How are we supposed to just be friends again, when all of this ... when I know all of this is my fault?
Celeste and -- Dragons, everyone, probably, if Elden is talking about it -- they think I don't know that I've ruined this, that I don't know this is my fault, that this was just ... just some experiment, no harm done to Kail, like I don't ...
I just, Dragons, the way he looks, it's not --
How am I supposed to even be anywhere near him, now? If I were him, Dragons, I'd never want to see me again ... But what is knowing that supposed to do? It doesn't make it easier for me to try and fix things. I don't even know how to fix things! How can I fix that, when things between us are ...
I don't want to lose him, Dragons, he's my best friend. He's always been that. All those years, when I didn't even notice, and now we're just supposed to ... put this behind us, I'm just supposed to -- what? What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to do it?
[a long pause here, a lot of light ink marks]
[Filter: Fayre]
Hi.
